Vulnerability Is Your Superpower

Authenticity is one of those words we hear all the time. Be authentic. Show up as yourself. Be real.

It sounds great, but I think it gets a little more complicated when you actually try to live it.

Because how many of us have spent way too much energy trying to be the version of ourselves we think other people want or need us to be?

Sometimes authenticity isn’t some big vulnerable moment. Sometimes it’s simply being able to say, “I’m tired.” Or “I don’t know.” Or “I’m still figuring this out.”

And there’s something really freeing about that.

Terry and I are different in a lot of ways, and one of them is definitely our social batteries. I can love people, love being around them, have the best time, and then suddenly I am just DONE. 😂 I’m out of words. I need quiet. I need to recharge.

The problem is that when we don’t communicate that, people can fill in the blanks for us.

“She’s mad.”

“He’s being distant.”

“Did I do something?”

Nope. Sometimes somebody is just tired.

I think we could save ourselves a lot of unnecessary tension in our friendships, marriages, and relationships if we got better at simply saying what we need. “My social battery is low tonight” communicates something very different than shutting down and expecting the other person to figure it out.

And the people who really know you learn that your need for space isn’t rejection. You can pick back up tomorrow without keeping score.

But authenticity gets a little trickier when we start talking about work and leadership.

You can’t always say, “My social battery is dead, so I’m checking out for the day.” There are responsibilities. People are counting on you. And being authentic certainly doesn’t mean saying every thought that pops into your head.

There’s a difference between being real and having no filter.

I think the question becomes: Is what I’m about to say helpful? Is it constructive? Is this the right time and place?

You can be the person steering the ship and still admit that the water is rough.

In fact, I think some of the leaders we trust most are the ones who can look at everyone and say, “This is hard. I don’t have every answer yet. But we’re going to work through it.”

That doesn’t make me trust someone less. It usually makes me trust them more.

The same thing applies to confidence.

Terry likes certainty. He wants to know exactly what’s happening and how we’re getting there. I’m much more likely to say, “Let’s try it and see what happens.”

Neither one is always right.

There are absolutely times when you need certainty. Safety, logistics, big decisions. Sometimes you need to know exactly what you’re doing.

But there are also times when waiting until you’re completely sure keeps you from ever trying.

Music has taught us that over and over again.

You’re going to hit a wrong note. Forget a lyric. Miss a cue. Come in at the wrong time.

But here’s the funny thing: most people won’t even know unless you stop the entire song and announce that you messed up.

So you keep playing.

Maybe life works a little like that too.

Confidence doesn’t always come from knowing exactly what you’re doing. Sometimes it comes from knowing that if you mess it up, you’ll figure out what to do next.

Maybe that’s part of authenticity too.

Knowing when to hammer down. Knowing when to loosen your grip. Knowing when to say, “I’ve got this,” and when to admit, “I have absolutely no idea.”

And being okay with letting people see both.